


Heaven

by Samrose1994



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aged Up, Bad Parents, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Religion, Toxic Christianity, park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 13:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20258845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samrose1994/pseuds/Samrose1994
Summary: A fic based around "Heaven' by Troye Sivan. TJ's parents are super conservative Christians who cause trouble for him and his boyfriend, Cyrus Goodman





	Heaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LuckyLucy92](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyLucy92/gifts).

> This was a birthday request for Cloe! I hope you like it and Happy Birthday! <3

_"The truth runs wild_   
_ Like a tear down a cheek_   
_ Trying to save face, and daddy heart break_   
_ I'm lying through my teeth_

_This voice inside_   
_ Has been eating at me_   
_ Trying to replace the love that I fake_   
_ With what we both need_

_The truth runs wild_   
_ Like kids on concrete_   
_ Trying to sedate, my mind in its cage_   
_ And numb what I see_

_Awake, wide eyed_   
_ I'm screaming at me_   
_ Trying to keep faith and picture his face_   
_ Staring up at me"_

"Why are you doing this? Don't you love me anymore?"

TJ can still hear the desperation in the brown eyed boy's voice. TJ couldn't so much as look him in the face. Those were the last things Cyrus said before TJ turned away without a word and ran, leaving Cyrus alone, confused, and heartbroken on his front porch.

TJ kept running. He ran from the hurt. He ran from the regret. He hoped if he ran long enough and far enough, he could outpace all his problems. He ran until he couldn't anymore. But when he stopped, he found he couldn't escape the reality of it all. He just hurt the only person who ever mattered to him. And what for? For his parents who are probably never going to really love him? For some G-d that he isn't even sure is real?

When he looks around, he realized he ended up in the park, because of course he did. This had been the place he and Cyrus had been coming to the last 3 years to find comfort. He doubted it would have that same effect today. Everything felt so heavy. It was like the weight of the world was pressing down on him threatening to crush him right where he stood.

Maybe that's why he felt his knees buckle as he collapsed beside a nearby tree. Under the cover of shade, in the middle of the park, TJ lost control. All his feelings he has been holding inside came out in the form of sobbing. He couldn't stop. He hurt so badly.

The last few days played in his head. He had come home yesterday to both his parents in his bedroom. His mother sat on the edge of the bed, unable to look at him. His father held a photograph in his hand as he stood near her.

He remembers feeling tense as his father handed him the picture in his hand. His heart sank when he saw what it was. It was of him and Cyrus at the beach from the previous week. They were cuddling, with Cyrus placing a kiss on TJ's cheek. Buffy had taken the picture and TJ loved it so much, he got it printed. He hid it in his desk.

"Why were you guys going through my things?" Was the only sentence he could force out of his mouth.

"We are your parents and we have the right to go through your room. Thelonious, I have never been so disappointed in you in my entire life. You know that being with other guys is wrong." His dad says sternly. His dad is a tall guy and well built, not the kind of guy you want to get into a fight with. He was also the minister at a small evangelical church in town.

"Cyrus and I are only friends. We were just joking around." TJ lies through his teeth.

"We are not dumb, son. We went through your laptop after we found this." TJ's breath catches in his throat. He knows he has tons of pictures of him and Cyrus saved on there. He also knows he has his finsta logged in, the one where he is openly gay.

"I'm sorry, dad…" the boy says, sounding like it was getting harder and harder to breath.

"You better be, do you know how big of a deal this is? You are putting your soul in grave danger for some boy. TJ this sin has made you very ill. Don't you want to go to heaven? Because if you keep this up, you know only hell waits for you."

To hear his dad call Cyrus just some boy, stung more than his dad calling him sick but he stays quiet and focuses on the carpet at his feet. So his dad continues in a low somber manner. "How long has this been going on?"

"For over 3 years...since 8th grade." TJ whispers almost too quiet to hear. All the guilt and shame he had worked so hard to overcome so he could be himself came trickling back in. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Well, that is ending. You will give us your phone, laptop, and anything else that has to do with Cyrus. You will go to his house tomorrow and end things with him. Then next week, we will be sending you to a place that will help you get better. Oh and be a man and stop crying. " Without waiting for a response from their son, both of his parents left his room, taking his phone and laptop as promised.

TJ knew what they meant by "get better." He seen it happen to a girl at his church; conversion therapy. He was terrified. He knew he had to break up with Cyrus so he doesn't make this situation worse.

Objectively he knew being gay wasn't a choice and G-d didn't hate him, but part of him wondered if his parents were right, if what he was doing would get him sent to hell. I guess that's what you get if you have been brainwashed into believing this stuff since birth.

So the next day, he did what his parents told him to do. He showed up at Cyrus' door. Cyrus had attempted to kiss him when he opened the door and saw him but TJ pulled away.

"Is everything okay?" Cyrus scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion.

"No, Cy...its not." TJ says in a shattered voice. He looks anywhere but Cyrus' face. He knows if he makes eye contact, he will melt and back out.

"Baby, what is it?" Cyrus says in an understanding tone.

"Us, we aren't going to work out. Sorry." That's all TJ could say. It hurt too bad to say more. But the words even to his ears sounded so callous.

"Wait...why?" Cyrus squeaks out.

TJ says nothing.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Again the taller boy says nothing. But inside it kills him that Cyrus thinks he did something wrong, that he in someway deserved this.

And that's when Cyrus said the thing that made TJ crumble. With obvious tears in his voice he said, "Why are you doing this? Don't you love me anymore?"

TJ could not keep it together after that. Of course he loves Cyrus. He loves him more than he could put into words. So he ran. He knew staying there wouldn't be good. That's how he ended up here in the park, under a large tree, sobbing.  
*************  
"_The truth runs wild_  
_ Like the rain to the sea_  
_ Trying to set straight the lines that I trace_  
_ To find some release_  
_ This voice inside_  
_ Has been eating at me"_

He is so wrapped up in his thoughts, he doesn't notice the other boy sit down beside him. Cyrus' voice breaks through his racing head. "Hey, Teej…" his voice seems so small.

"Why are you here Cyrus?" TJ tries to say while trying to will himself not to keep crying. He still doesn't look at the boy.

"To see if you are okay…" Cyrus puts his hand softly on TJ's shoulder. This time the blonde does not pull away.

"Why should you care? I'm a jerk who just broke up with you." TJ tries to sound harsh but it comes out sad instead, punctuated by a stifled sob.

"Because I know you better than anyone and what you did hurt me but I know something else has to be going on. You didn't answer any of my texts and calls last night or this morning and out of nowhere you come to my house to break up with me after 3 years. But you looked so...so...broken when you did it. You could not look at me but...I was staring at you the whole time. That's when I noticed the tear forming in your eye...and then you ran. I knew you would be at the park so I came looking for you. Tj...please look at me. Please..."

Against his better judgement, TJ looks up. The moment he does though, he knows he is done for. Cyrus' eyes looked tired like they were crying and it destroys him to know he was the cause of it. But there is something else in his eyes; unconditional love. His parents never looked at him like that, and G-d sure as hell hasn't. Without thinking twice, he throws his arms around Cyrus and pulls him close. He lets go of all his guards and just cries into Cyrus' shoulder. Between cries he keeps apologizing. Cyrus for his part just holds his boyfriend, and tells him it is okay.  
**************  
_"Without losing a piece of me_  
_ How do I get to heaven?_  
_ Without changing a part of me_  
_ How do I get to heaven?_  
_ All my time is wasted_  
_ Feeling like my heart's mistaken, oh_  
_ So if I'm losing a piece of me_  
_ Maybe I don't want heaven?_"

After a while, when TJ has calmed down a little, he starts to explain what happened. The boys sitting from each other, holding hands, fingers intertwined. Cyrus is rubbing soothing circles with his thumb on TJ's knuckles.

"My parents found out about us…"

"Oh no...did they hurt you?" Cyrus knows how ultraconservative they are.

"Not physically. They made me feel so horrible though. They took away any electronics so I could not talk to you. They forced me to break up with you They told me I was going to hell. Well actually my dad did, my mom couldn't even look at me."

"TJ, you know that is not true…right?" Cyrus asks.

TJ stays quiet for a few moments before replying "Well even if it is true, if it means losing you to get to heaven, maybe I don't want heaven?"

Cyrus puts his free hand on TJ's cheek. "I really love you, you know that?" He smiles.

TJ smiles back before a look of fear clouds over his face. Cyrus notices. "What is it?"

"My parents...they are sending me to some place that does conversion therapy. Cy, I don't want to go. Those places are actual torture. This girl at my church was found out to be a lesbian and she got sent there. She seemed like a shell when she came back. She is in her 20s now and married to some guy but she always seems so unhappy and empty inside. What I'm saying is they break kids down and...I'm so scared." TJ is rambling but it is obvious that he is terrified.

"Well I'm not going to let them take you."

"How? They are my parents." TJ states hopelessly.

"Let's…" Cyrus bites his bottom lip, contemplating what to say next. "Let's run away."

TJ looks shocked. "Are you serious? We can't just run away...can we?"

"I don't see why not. We only have a year left of school and we can always do one of those online programs to get our diplomas. I have a car, and savings. We can just go, we won't even pack a suitcase, too risky. We won't take our cellphones. We will take out all my money I have in my bank account on our way out of town. We can live off that for a while and get odd jobs…"

"Cyrus, I can't ask you to leave behind your family and friends for me."

"You are not, I'm making this choice. Plus it will only be a year. After that, we will be 18 and can come back because your parents won't have legal rights over you anymore."

"So you really want to do this …Cyrus Goodman is going to run off with me?" TJ asks trying not to sound to hopeful.

"Of course I do. I would do anything to be with the person I love and protect him." Cyrus gleams.

TJ mirrors his face. "I love you so much, Underdog. I don't need heaven when you are right here." He leans in and rests his forehead on Cyrus'. The boys just stare at each other, thankful for the other.

They both know it is going to be a tough road ahead but aren't scared because they have each other.


End file.
